What’s Going on With You and I?
It’s hard to see changes in language in realtime. Such things are usually gradual and only after a couple of generations have gone by can you really see the changes that have taken place.
However, recently, I’ve noticed an emerging phenomenon regarding the way people use pronouns that suggested to me that I was witnessing just such a change to the language.
To investigate this, I conducted a brief survey — admittedly unscientific in terms of sample size and controlling for demographic diversity — to see how people were using pronouns in what are called “coordinating phrases,” that is, a phrase with two elements connected by a coordinating conjunction like and or or.
It had been my observation for a long time that people were using pronouns in coordinating phrases in a manner that did not strictly comport with the grammar. For example:
- This is our secret; let’s just keep this between you and I.
- When you’re done with your report, give the final version to Bob and I.
The problem in each instance is that the pronoun I should not follow the preposition. Just as you would say Give the report to me so, too, should you say, Give the report to Bob and me. Or so the standard thinking goes.
It has long been thought by many — including by me — that these instances were the result of a hypercorrection. After having said things like, “Me and Bob are going to the store” only to be corrected by our teachers: “Bob and I…” it was likely that an entire generation of us grew up believing that and I was always correct, or at least, sounded more correct.
But recently, I have begun to observe more and more a problem with pronouns in coordinating phrases that goes beyond simple hypercorrection. People have been saying things like “Give it to he and I” or “This is a really good development for he and she” instead of the expected “Give it to him and me” or “This is a really good development for him and her.”
And so I wanted to test what people’s thinking was on the various constructions through the use of this online survey.
The beginning of the survey had four test/control sentences in which people were asked to choose the preferred pronoun.
- This is a book for (him/he)
- I went to a party with (her/she)
- Lisa gave the books to (us/we)
- We bought the house from (them/they)
- The book was written by (me/I)
In the first three cases, 100% of respondents picked the option where the pronoun is in the object case: This is a book for him, I went to a party with her, Lisa gave the books to us, and We bought the house from them. In the final sentence, 99.4% affirmed The book was written by me, with one respondent (0.6%) preferring I, and one marking both me and I as correct.
With these controls in hand, I wanted to look at how people changed their answers in the presence of a coordinating conjunction like and or or. The results were interesting.
With 100% support for the objective case pronouns following the prepositions when they’re alone, there was nevertheless a discrepancy in usage when the coordinating conjunctions got involved.
This is a book for him. (100%)
Numbers of respondents indicated that constructions with he were appropriate when a coordinating conjunction was present:
- Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for he and she. (4.3%)
- Early birthday gift! My dad got tickets for the premiere of the new Star Wars for he and I. (6.7%)
- Early birthday gift! My dad got tickets for the premiere of the new Star Wars for he and me. (3.0%)
- Bob is collecting the money, so you can send your payment to either he or I. (6.1%)
- Bob is collecting the money, so you can send your payment to either he or me. (3.0%)
- John and Mary are both excellent candidates. I could see us selecting either he or she. (7.3%)
- John and Mary are both excellent candidates. I could see us selecting either he or her. (0.6%)
I went to a party with her. (100%)
- Why we broke up is private; please stop asking out of respect for she and I. (4.9%)
- Why we broke up is private; please stop asking out of respect for she and me. (3.7%)
- John and Mary are both excellent candidates. I could see us selecting either he or she. (7.3%)
- John and Mary are both excellent candidates. I could see us selecting either him or she. (0.6%)
Lisa gave the books to us. (100%)
- Neither side will prosper. This will not go well for either we or they. (1.8%)
- Neither side will prosper. This will not go well for either we or them. (1.2%)
We bought the house from them. (100%)
- Neither side will prosper. This will not go well for either us or they. (0.6%)
- Neither side will prosper. This will not go well for either we or they. (1.8%)
The book was written by me. (99.4%)
- Why we broke up is private; please stop asking out of respect for she and I. (4.9%)
- Why we broke up is private; please stop asking out of respect for her and I. (27.4%)
- Early birthday gift! My dad got tickets for the premiere of the new Star Wars for he and I. (6.7%)
- Early birthday gift! My dad got tickets for the premiere of the new Star Wars for him and I. (18.9%)
- It’s a secret; let’s just keep this between you and I. (18.9%)
- Bob is collecting the money, so you can send your payment to either him or I. (12.2%)
- Bob is collecting the money, so you can send your payment to either he or I. (6.1%)
The data clearly shows that constructions with and I where and me is expected are the most common form of this phenomenon, with an average of 13% of respondents preferring that construction when possible (the strongest responses being 27.4% preferring Why we broke up is private; please stop asking out of respect for her and I and 18.9% preferring It’s a secret; let’s just keep this between you and I.)
But as the data show, a not insignificant percentage of respondents also use the subject case for pronouns instead of the object case as high as 6.1% for Bob is collecting the money, so you can send your payment to either he or I and 7.3% for John and Mary are both excellent candidates. I could see us selecting either he or she.
The case confusion is not limited to the object of prepositions. When given options for the subjects of the sentences in question, respondents provided the following results for the expected He and I are going to rumble tonight and He and she have been best friends since elementary school:
- Him and I are going to rumble tonight. (12.8%)
- He and me are going to rumble tonight. (1.8%)
- Him and me are going to rumble tonight. (4.9%)
- He and her have been best friends since elementary school. (7.9%)
- Him and she have been best friends since elementary school. (1.8%)
- Him and her have been best friends since elementary school. (13.4%)
There is obviously a lot more work that needs to be done in the exploration of this question and much more cross-referencing in terms of age, education level, and so on (native speaking was analyzed and it has a negligible effect).
But it is clear that something more than simple hypercorrection is taking place. My own theory is that these coordinating phrases are becoming an impenetrable unit and uninflected. (I’ve written a preliminary paper about this theory). These findings do not contradict that hypothesis and may in some cases even support it, but only more data and more study will yield a clearer picture.
Until then, you and I will just have to wait and see.
